New Years Resolutions for under achievers and the overwhelmed
So every year (almost) I sit down and consider making New Years Resolutions. I don’t write them down because I don’t want even paper to bear witness to the lies I am about to tell. I know the point is to improve you but first I have to get over that awful feeling that something must be done in other words change. And then there is the guilt and overwhelm when you notice you are not getting the job done. Change is one of the things that I wish I had an instant formula for to create at will. Quite frankly because of the Mayan calendar I thought I could just miss out on this responsibility! As you can tell I don’t get them done and I hear I am in good company!
It goes back to the idea of change. There are so many things that we do automatically that we aren’t even aware of it. And there is a certain comfort in doing the same random things in a repetitive cycle. It offers predictability. If I do this I know the results I will get. Challenging that is difficult.
So what goes wrong with New Year’s Resolutions for so many people? Well the first thing that doesn’t happen is fun. When I think about loosing weight .I think about my belly. Then I think about starving myself and sweating a lot! I have already convinced myself I need a quart of ice cream to soothe my savage beast. You know the one, the beast that rears its head and says laconically “you have got to be kidding me!”
What I didn’t do is put any joy in it. This was not a thing to make me go “mmmm”. If there is no pleasure aspect in getting the resolution done chances are the discomfort will make me give up very quickly. So let’s say I want to study yoga and wear fun yoga outfits. Or better yet it’s been a while since I have gone and done some kick boxing. I love going into a dojo community, making friends and then having a good knock down drag out……. You get the picture. Now that has my juices flowing.
I also make at least ten resolutions. Now seriously who am I kidding? If I can’t get my daily to do’s done how can I possibly tackle this one? Pick your top five. And then narrow it down to three. If you overwhelm yourself from the beginning you will never get it done. And how do you get it done? You don’t need to push a boulder up a mountain with your nose. Give yourself a reasonable chance at success.
Break it down into actionable steps and put them in your calendar. Setting up check points will help you keep on track if you fall off and don’t do it. Notice it readjust your calendar projection and take some action. Very often people will eventually notice they are not doing the resolutions. Then, they give themselves permission to say that they failed. In this case you go the extra mile by monitoring what you do.
And now you have to set up an accountability group. That’s the group that says did you do it? I know people call it a support group I call it the embarrassment group because I am one of those people who at some point have to admit that I didn’t do it. And then the group can ask what would be helpful in getting me to do it. It’s easier to think with several minds then one. They can help you see other options to get where you need to go.
Find something you want to do, think about how to do it put in your schedule and have friends do the same. So get that piece of paper out put it on the fridge and get cracking! If you are interested in joining a group call me I am setting them up it’s a Mastermind for 2013 that covers these techniques and others to get you on the right track. I will work with each person to make your resolutions happen.