Is dissatisfaction a disease or a wakeup call?
For many it becomes a lifestyle. I recently sat with a client who insisted her ability to have a social life and be a professional in her field was completely reliant on looking like she had it all together. The fake it till you make “syndrome.” But the problem with that is after a while you feel like an imposter, because deep down you are waiting to get caught. You are waiting for the world to notice that you aren’t who you say are. So, you have no room for error. Just writing this is stressful! I can’t imagine living it.
But what’s the alternative? The alternative is not to live a lie it is to live consciously by choosing to accept. Living consciously is when you accept the reality of what you are experiencing. Now personally I don’t just let things happen but I was surprised when I looked up what “acceptance” really means.
Acceptance is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it, protest, or exit. The concept is close in meaning to ‘acquiescence’, derived from the Latin ‘acquiēscere’ (to find rest in).
So does that mean you just roll over and die? No it means you start by accepting what you are feeling and experiencing. By just looking at it and allowing it you have changed it. When you stop fighting frustration and sadness you open yourself up to being able to think about what to do next after the initial impact of it is over.
It is impossible to arrange your life that everything always works and you are always on top. You need a strategy to learn how to deal with the twists and curves life will throw you. Pretending that nothing is happening doesn’t work. So hang up the Super Hero costume on a hook where it belongs. Being alive and human is so much more vital.
When you live consciously you don’t deny or repress your feelings. If you feel angry you get to be angry in that moment. Then when you simmer down you think about what to do next. Don’t temper tantrum around the office this is internal work feel the anger, breath and wait for it to subside before choosing an action. Why am I talking about breathing? I will explain the biochemical results of deep breathing in the next installment. Have a wonderful weekend!