I’m finding myself have you seen me?
Having it all is a useless idea frantic enthusiasm and over-hyping who you are is the new way of being. I am annoyed at websites promising to give you your every heart’s desire. No one has figured out how to do that and the hubris that goes into that promise is ridiculous. Sit emptor caveat. You cannot have it all because you will always think of something new to add to the list. All is not a finite number in this case all is infinite. You have set yourself up to accomplish an infinite amount of things.
So it not surprising that you are found wanting. (and wanting even more!). This is where your personal definitions of success are key. You must know what you want your life to be in this moment in time. You will wind up changing your mind about this several times over. The more courage you have to be yourself the easier this will be. If that kind of courage is not what you want in your life then you must get competitive to become the best prototype of that dream of having it all.
Having it all is defined by the society you live in. You have less say about it then you realize. The hardest part is when you automatically shake your head yes and then try to fit into the agreement you have made. You said yes to something you never defined for yourself. And often it comes with an unsettling feeling that you haven’t quite made it yet. You get a lot of things and achievements but you aren’t happy. The dissatisfaction or ennui is from not having made your own choices. When you base your life on pleasing “society” you are living a shadow life where your opinion doesn’t matter. It is a shadow life because you are a shadow of who you are.
If you say no to it, you are saying no to success. And who would want to do that? Well there are some, though it takes a lot of courage to choose to think for yourself Courage is considered by many to be brash. Some of the ideas that most people agree with are good ideas but most people don’t examine then and consider stepping out of the norm. If you play to your strengths chances are you will be doing things differently. My friends describe me as being courageous which, is a compliment. But in the recesses of my mind I acknowledge that courage has led me to make different choices for my life and I have to live with the consequences of not being like my friends. This is a choice you must make do you want to fit in or do you want to go it alone. Most people complete that sentence by saying stand out instead of going it alone. I cannot guarantee you will stand out by choosing your own way over public opinion you may stand out but I can definitively say you will go it alone.
What young people don’t know is that some of your biggest mistakes will teach you what you need to know later on in life. Instead they are told that they should feel ashamed or embarrassed about their mistakes. Some of those mistakes will forge your personality and the choices that you make for the rest of your life.
You use what you choose. People are not fixed creatures. We grow aspire and change our minds. That is why all of us are infinite in our choices and free will if you begin to feel dissatisfied with what you have, have the flexibility to change it. I think that contented people are the ones who have asked themselves what they want and how much of it do they need. They also recognize that sometimes you tough it out and other times you get up and leave the table. Making these choices is life it is not a struggle. You struggle when you decide that you shouldn’t have to make choices.
But what do you do if you are impulsive and change your mind and career all the time? Many of your choices may be good ones but you have no long term view. You never develop them. You jump ship for the next bright new shiny object. Look at where you could get to and find out the ways to get there. If you switch out of relationships or careers continually you are not looking at where you can be if you stay. Before you fold you need to know what future self you may be walking away from. Of course no one can predict your future but to get to the finish line you have to start. Your first jobs, homes and relationships may be messy because you are still learning
It’s easier being older. As you become older you can draw on your experiences to define who you are. You also had the chance to drive yourself crazy trying to have it all. Twenty-twenty hindsight is all it’s cracked up to be. When you are younger you can rely on a wing and a prayer to get you there When you are older you finally notice that having it all is already here.
Having it all is waking up in the morning. Having it all is being alive and noticing it. So you see just by being alive you have it all already. You may not be rich or good looking or educated you have something better you have life. When you create a society that consistently wants the hunger and dissatisfaction never leaves. I don’t want it all I want enough, enough for me to make the changes that I can and then take a little rest from it all.