You no longer (or never did) really know what you want
We are going to go over. WHY this has happened, WHY NOW, and WHAT MIGHT HELP.
You have relentlessly pushed and pushed and pushed yourself for 12 or 13 years to gain a prestigious career and here you are….realizing there’s no end in sight. In today’s world it feels like you have to push and push and push yourself for 6 or 10 more years before you can relax. You feel burned out and worn out and can’t get the motivation up to do anything. And you might feel puzzled about why you can’t keep up the pace when you used to. Inside everyone’s minds they are pleading, “PLEASE, give me a break!” Talking it through helps with a psychotherapist to gain a bit of perspective on the situation but is this problem with motivation or specific to tasks? What is the difference between what I can do and what I feel unmotivated for? Am I just unmotivated?
Motivation does not happen because you say an inspiration or tell yourself just do it. People are motivated by certain things and if they are not there neither are you. There is also a difference in the style that people have and what drives them there are three different types that I will outline for you and what you must have in place to “be all that you can be” and “just do it”.
WHY this has happened
First I want to know if this motivation problem is it recent change or its always been like this. If you’ve always had problems with motivation perhaps there is an attention deficit disorder or learning disability which has made academics, organization of time and belongings, or getting started harder for you than for others. There are methods a psychotherapist can show you. Almost without exception, a person with such difficulties believes themself to be “lazier” and less motivated than others which isn’t true.
Sometimes people freeze themselves into a pattern of behavior. What is a coping mechanism at one time can become a source of distress at another, if you continue to do it as a rigid pattern. The problem is they can be hard to recognize and you think the way you respond is just “you being you”. The pattern is running you and you are not aware of it.
A rigid pattern looks like this. A lot of people struggle between the wish to be accepted for themselves and the wish to please somebody else by meeting their high expectations, by doing just the minimum to “succeed”; but not being “motivated” from inside. This may work very well for a long time, keeping say parents proud of you, you have the inner satisfaction that you have maintained your true self by not trying as hard as you could. Some people continue doing this without realizing it. They don’t become their authentic selves and they resent it. Whether they realize it or not some part of themselves is fighting for them by making them feel unmotivated to continue in the same pattern.
What if the change in motivation is more recent? First, we need to rule out the obvious causes. Sickness, depression, and alcohol and drug use are possibilities. If the problem results from depression, the change in motivation you will feel sad, hopeless, or just empty, with no zest for life. There may be changes in appetite and sleep patterns, decreases in the ability to concentration and memory. Life might feel meaningless and the things that used to bring pleasure no longer do. Please seek help with this.
You might be a perfectionist. Perfectionism leads to procrastination and procrastination leads to paralysis. Perfectionism can have a number of negative effects on motivation. It’s a terrible weight to carry and it gets heavier the longer you carry it. Perfectionism can put off doing what needs to be done because of fear of not reaching the goal. Perfectionists are often the bottleneck in companies because they do not believe anyone can do it as well as they can and they eventually cannot keep up with the demand.
Here’s a twisty question ask yourself What POSITIVE things might happen if I don’t get motivated and what NEGATIVE things might happen if I do? Who, (besides me) thinks I should be more motivated or thinks I should do these things for which I have? And what might be going on in my relationship with that person? Am I stuck in believing my value comes only from my job? Should you ALWAYS work? If this feels like you I have some suggestions.
Inside and out motivation
Is it just me or is it the job? – WHY NOW
You need to have the right foundation to be successful in a job. There is internal and external motivation that can keep you going let’s start with the outside and work our way in. Sit back and take a look at your job you need three things to be motivated. You have to have expectancy, instrumentality and valence. Let’s break it down.
You have to believe that you efforts will get you to your goal. You have to believe that you can do it – expectancy. This involves confidence but there is also a rational element involved. This is a matter of self-confidence and practicality. Some jobs ask for more than what is reasonable. If my boss asks me for 20 reports in fifteen minutes it aint happening and I know it. If this happens all the time it’s a problem! You must be believe you have the resources to make it happen. If you think it is too difficult it won’t happen. Many time s lack of motivation is caused by Ambivalence–or lacking faith that the action will be worth the effort.
It may be true that we can do almost anything we set our mind to. But if our mind is our worst enemy, we simply may not be able to believe that we can be successful. That is, whatever anxieties we may have about failing, as well as our poor sense of self-efficacy, may either keep us from starting a task or prevent us from completing it. And even if we do end up finishing it–because, say, it’s a job requirement and we absolutely must–our pattern of delay will still persist. Unresolved self-doubts isn’t always erased by taking action. And it will come back to haunt us (through some sort of procrastination) the very next time we’re obliged to do something. You need to believe you can get the job done on a consistent basis. If you don’t you need to look at why you believe you can’t. When you know that answer you can look at what can be changed and what can’t be changed.
You need to get a reward (instrumentality) AND you have to value the reward the key here is to set achievable goals and get rewards that you actually want. If you do not have these things you need to negotiate you situation.
This can be done with something physical or it can be done with praise. To feel motivated you need to feel emotional support. Sometimes you need a “cheering section” to handle what otherwise might overwhelm us If you don’t receive praise it can wear you down. .Needing–but not expecting–that others will give us recognition pulls the motivation out of you!
When we apply ourselves to something, it’s usually done with some expectation of reward–whether material or emotional, internal or external. If you need and want “strokes” to begin a task, then lacking any hope that we will get such acknowledgment may leave us without the motivation to attempt it. If in the past, our application and diligence hadn’t gotten us the positive feedback we craved, then how realistic is it to think we could yet maintain the work going forward? So how are you being treated?
Make sure you get specific feedback, so you know how to improve. Everyone says that but why is it important? If your lack of motivation is caused by a stable, external locus of control with no controllability send out you resume! If it is unstable, you have many situations with an internal locus of control and reasonable controllability you have a good job. Now let’s see what I just said
Job Analysis 101
Some situations are stable and cannot be changed. Your job needs you to do an analysis you don’t have that training. If you decide you aren’t smart enough to do it or it is too tedious it is a stable factor. It’s not going to change. If you decide it is out of your job function it is stable if you go for training you have made it unstable ( it changed) but if they tell you there isn’t a budget for training you are back to it as being stable.
Often we have to do jobs we don’t want to do if the task or project feels tedious to us, we’re likely to want to avoid it altogether. If it’s essential we do it, but in one way or another we’ll let the boss know our displeasure by hesitating, or by doing a halfhearted, mediocre job. When we call someone as lazy, frequently what we’re really referring to is a task that the person finds so dull or boring that they just can’t get themselves to tackle it. You are fighting a stable situation do you spend your day doing this? If it is possible don’t fight things that won’t change. It exhausts you and you lose your motivation.
Look at your job functions does this apply to your situation? How many situations are stable and unstable? Then look at how important they are to your day to day world.
Now let’s look at the locus of control if it is internal you are taking the responsibility “What can I do?” You first ask is it Stable or unstable?. If it is unstable then you decide am I the person who can do something about it? You may not be able to change everything but you look at what you can do If it is external it is not in your control, there is no budget to train me. If there is internal responsibility you have more control. I worked in an agency once where everyone ALWAYS said “it is what it is” the worker felt that everything had an external locus of control – very depressing place! Look at your job and ask yourself how much of this situation can I realistically affect?
Controllability – could you have handled the situation? If an individual believes they could have performed better, they may be less motivated to try again in the future than someone who believes they failed because of factors outside of their control. Are you blaming yourself for things you can’t control? There are some situations where you won’t feel satisfied with the results but it is not due to a lack of effort on your part. You need to look at do I have enough control over my situation to be an effective change agent. If you do not have the authority or resources to do your work this could be why you are not motivated. Can that be changed?
So look at your world and ask when I look at why I am frustrated is the situation changeable (stable vs. unstable) can I accomplish the task (locus of control internal or external) is it something that is even within my sphere of influence (controllability).
Fear of failure
“A person with a strong implicit drive will feel pleasure from achieving a goal in the most efficient way. The increase in effort and overcoming the challenge by mastering the task satisfies the individual. However, the explicit motives are built around a person’s self-image. This type of motivation shapes a person’s behavior based on their own self-view and can influence their choices and responses from outside cues. The primary agent for this type of motivation is perception or perceived ability. Many theorists still cannot agree whether achievement is based on mastering one’s skills or striving to promote a better self-image”
There are three types of achievement goals: a performance-approach goal, a performance-avoidance goal, and a mastery goal. A performance-approach goal is focused on attaining competence compared to others, a performance-avoidance goal is focused on avoiding incompetence compared to others, and a mastery goal is focused on the development of competence itself and of task mastery.
Finding your self
Some people strive to achieve their goals for personal satisfaction and self-improvement while others compete with their surroundings in achievement settings to simply be classified as the best. Ego-involved individuals are driven to succeed by outperforming others, and their feelings of success depend on maintaining self-worth and avoiding failure. They can show this in two different ways they are trying to outdo everyone or they are constantly checking if they failed. In the first the attention is on have I been noticed for the good work I have done and the second is have I been caught? If they fail it can be seen as a crisis. The main goal in ego-involvement is to demonstrate superior abilities
On the other hand, task-involved individuals tend to adopt their conception of ability as learning the task at hand. They learn to learn. People with fewer skills will feel more successful and confident as long as they can satisfy an effort to learn and improve. Task mastery is a motivational state in which a person’s main goal is to acquire skills and understanding. If they fail at a task it means they need more information.
Are you striving to get a promotion or are you in the office to work? People in ego-involving settings are more interested in information about social comparisons, assessing their ability relative to others. They also may feel awkward asking questions because they do not want to look as if they don’t know information whether they want success or to avoid failure.
People who want task mastery put in more effort (typically in activities providing an opportunity to learn and develop competence) than in an ego-involvement activity. People experience more self-satisfaction, in their work. A person who is engaged in task-involved activities does not put in as much effort and in general is not as satisfied. When people are more ego-involved, they tend to take on a different conception of their ability, where differences in ability limit the effectiveness of effort. Ego-involved individuals are driven to succeed by outperforming others, and their feelings of success depend on maintaining self-worth and avoiding failure.
In certain situations people will not try and deliberately withhold effort. If poor performance is a threat to a person’s sense of self-esteem. If I won’t be the best I won’t try. This most often occurs after an experience of failure. Failure threatens self-estimates of ability and creates uncertainty about an individual’s capability to perform well in the future. If the following performance turns out to be poor, then doubts concerning ability are confirmed. If you base your worth on doing better than others it is hard to tolerate not being the best. Pulling out allows failure to be attributed to lack of effort rather than not being able to accomplish the work. When poor performance is likely to reflect poor ability, a situation of high threat is created to the individual’s intellect. You wonder if you are good enough. But if you have an excuse such as “I didn’t really try” or “I didn’t feel motivated” the threat to self-esteem and one’s intellect is much lower individuals have a reduced tendency to take personal responsibility for failure
When you are interested in mastery you are absorbed in a task, you create excitement leading to a pattern of achievement results. You achieve because you are engaged. Performance-avoidance goals, creates anxiety, task distraction, and a pattern of helpless achievement outcomes. When you spend your time comparing yourself to others on a win or lose basis you create your own personal hell. Performance-avoidance goals undermined motivation while both mastery and performance-approach goals helped to increase it
The type of orientation you choose will predict how you will get the job done. It affects how you interpret, evaluate, and act on information and experiences in an achievement setting. Adoption of a mastery goal is will create a preference for moderately challenging tasks, persistence in the face of failure, a positive stance toward learning, and enhanced task enjoyment. A helpless motivational response, however, is the result of the adoption of a performance goal orientation. This includes a preference for easy or difficult tasks, effort withdrawal in the face of failure, shifting the blame of failure to lack of ability, and decreased enjoyment of tasks.
If you are comparing yourself to others to see how you rate you get a sensitivity to failure-relevant information and you get anxious with how you look rather than the concerns of the task .Mastery goals are said to promote intrinsic motivation by fostering perceptions of challenge, encouraging task involvement, generating excitement, and supporting self-determination while performance goals are the opposite. Performance goals are portrayed as undermining intrinsic motivation by instilling perceptions of threat, disrupting task involvement, and creating anxiety and pressure.
Some people strive to achieve their goals for personal satisfaction and self-improvement while others compete with their surroundings in achievement settings to simply be classified as the best