A prescription for rage and anxiety
“I felt myself change but I couldn’t stop it and really I didn’t want to. I screamed and cursed. Rage is when you have too much anger”
Raging is an emergency alternative;
when talking doesn’t do it
when holding it in doesn’t do it
when walking away doesn’t do it
when you can’t relax
when no one get it.
When it happens, you may not be aware of what you are doing and saying. Severe sadness and irritation are signs that your personal goals are being blocked and you think that these feelings that you have should not exist. You shouldn’t feel sad or irritated.
So, what do you need to do? Put yourself into the game. Sitting on the sidelines will leave you swimming in your feelings and you might drown. These feelings are your wake-up call.
But what if what you are feeling leaves you disorganized or you freeze? Or you rage inside and you seethe. Even worse you let it out and make foolish mistakes. The problem is you don’t want to have the feeling and you are upset that you are having it let’s consider why.
The other possibility is instead of being anxious you can be strongly concerned. You can choose a more proactive feeling. You can become greatly displeased and determined to create change and act against unfairness or fly into a rage. The choice starts in how you perceive it
You can choose to be
Displeased Determined
Sad Frustrated
Or
Angry Enraged
Furious Panicked
Complaining Depressed
You can want something but when you must have it you are setting yourself up for a fall. The universe does not owe you stop demanding. You cannot dictate to the world how it should behave
I must do well
I have get approval from others
People ought to treat me fairly
I should live with easy enjoyable conditions
All these thoughts can lead to misery because hey sometimes
Sh!t happens
I understand that you can want all these things but you cannot demand them. That will not lead to a well thought out action to get what you want if it doesn’t happen. What you are thinking and wanting may be fine but what kind of energy are you putting into it?
You are influenced by biology and what you learned growing up. To some extent you can choose the intensity of your feelings. You can choose how you think about it and how you will act. You cannot however choose how you feel. But you can temper it.
“People are disturbed not by things but by the views they take of them” – Epictetus
Whatever you choose to do you can also refuse to do it. You mostly create your own thoughts and feelings but do you stop and look at them? If you can accept this insight and do the work you can change a great deal.
“There are certain things I want that didn’t happen. I still want it and I am frustrated that I didn’t get it So now I plan my next action. I won’t overwhelm myself and I will use my frustration as a reminder that I want change”