A lot of people believe that when other people react they caused it. That some people have the kinds of personality that you can predict how the room will react. Or they look for patterns to support this idea. One thing that I find frustrating is when people come into therapy to ask what is it about them that makes people react the way that they do. Not to burst any bubbles here but most people are thinking about themselves and I have...

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It’s that time when people think of romance.  I was on the bus yesterday and a woman said Valentine’s Day is coming up we women better stick together and I thought that was sad.  I speak to many men and women who have a hard time finding a relationship.  It doesn’t matter if their a man or a women the mistake is always the same.  I will give you a hint the answer is is in the title.  If you are a...

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Is this something that you believe in? That when you meet them there will be an instant recognition and a knowing, you will see them standing there and you will know and so will they that you are the one. Do I believe in this well no, but it happened to me so I should or did it? I had gone the Match.com route and was heading toward the restaurant to meet some one with a really terrible picture. In fact that was half the reason I picked him. I...

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When I am doing couples counseling or talking to single people who are dating an idea comes up repetitively. Each partner wants to find their soul mate. And when they find that person it will be electric! Our society has created an illusion of an instant sense of knowing. I will know when I see them. A soul mate will fill all your desires and instantly know what you need (if they really love you) its chemistry if it’s real it will just be there...

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