Why you should never try to change a man

Why you should never try to change a man

There is a myth in our culture that needs to be exposed. I have seen many couples in couple’s therapy and there is this running notion that a lot of women have that they are there to improve or change their men. And the tool most often utilized is nagging! Women nag because they lose patience that the change is not happening fast enough. And this is one of the main reason I see couples come in for Couples Counseling.   So, let’s look at...

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What Couples Counseling isn’t

What Couples Counseling isn’t

I just got a phone call that let me know that there is confusion over what Couples Counseling is or what it is for.  He asked if I could see him that day or the next morning.  I was booked for that time but I offered to see the couple in two days.  And he said “no my girlfriend will be away for an extended time.”  So, I was supposed to solve the problem in one session or at least that was what I imagined and I wondered what he had wanted in...

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Your word of honor, is it really?

Your word of honor, is it really?

It became an ethical question that I had to answer.  My lover just came out of the dorm.  I was 18 and my first lover was coming out of the dorm.  He didn’t see me but I saw him.  And I remembered how over the weekend he handed me a shirt and said “you left this.”  I threw it back in his face and said “I didn’t! “  I then walked down the highway and hitched a ride back to campus in a state of shock.  You see the shirt wasn’t mine, it belonged...

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Never extraordinary enough

Never extraordinary enough

  We place ourselves on hold until we do something wonderful.  We do it because we are chasing life instead of living it. Until that happens we are living on potential and living as if we were constantly operating on default.  I will be enough when I make enough money, when I have a relationship when I am in school etc. When I was younger I calmed my anxiety down by assuring myself that I had potential and one day someday the world would know...

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In 2014 I want

In 2014 I want

The Winter Solstice is liminal space, between darkness and light. After a cycle into darkness, we reach the shortest day of the year.  The Sun makes its return, as the days get longer.  It is an ending and a beginning… it is an opportunity to begin to set into motion what you’d like in your life in the coming year.  So every year (sort of) I do my New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t actually...

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An hour a day keeps the blues away how to really spread holiday cheer.

An hour a day keeps the blues away how to really spread holiday cheer.

The other day I took my love to see Pippin for his birthday. Big mistake not that the show wasn’t wonderful but we were in the middle of Times Square with hundreds of tourists shuffling along.  Basically a New Yorker nightmare. I needed a blast of happiness fast!  Especially because I haven’t done my holiday shopping yet and I am heading into more crowds.  So I started to research the most effective ways to forget your troubles and get happy! ...

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